(Movie Review) Am I OK? (2022)

By Vani P Nair -

                                                     (Movie Review) "Am I OK?" (2022)


Today was yet another one of those extremely unproductive days, but slightly better than the worst ones. At least I didn’t starve myself for being too lazy to cook. I had been wanting to see this movie after I chanced upon a trailer of this on the YouTube. I must confess I watched it for Dakota Johnson. I love that woman (that is, in the capacity of an actor of course…. duh!). She will forever be Anasthasia Steele for me. I don’t know what it is exactly that attracts me to her, but there is definitely something. But this is not about my inexplicable attraction for the leading lady. It is about what I felt about the movie. Wikipedia says it is a comedy drama film and I am choosing to go with it for want of a better word to describe the genre. I must tell there are no highs and lows in this movie. It makes for an easy watch and if you have watched the trailer, the story is already there for you. 

What do you do when you are a thirty-two-year-old woman with no stable job and lacks the capacity to take charge in life, despite wanting to? Lucy leads a comfortable life except for the fact that she is perennially discontented with her existence. Even though she doesn’t detest her job at the spa (Probably as the receptionist. Frankly I couldn’t figure out what exactly she was doing there.), she hates herself for giving up on her artistic pursuits. Meanwhile, she is also coming to realize that her sexuality is not what she thought it to be. Once she comes to accept her attraction for women, she opens up to her best friend Jane. It is interesting to note how Lucy is constantly attempting to equate her life with that of Jane’s. She feels inadequate knowing that Jane takes chances and doesn’t shy away from new experiences. On some level she begins to feel worthless and breaks into tears whenever she attempts to confront her emotions and feelings, especially in front of Jane. 

Jane and Lucy’s relationship can come across as superficial, lacking depth and understanding. Having said that, on second thought, a lot of us can easily relate to their dynamics. It is common in friendships, particularly among women, for one to take charge while the other silently follows. When the movie begins, Lucy has no other acquaintances to spend time with other that Jane. Jane is the decision maker and she goads Lucy to come out of her shell and to live her life a bit. The need that Lucy feels for Jane’s constant and exclusive presence in her life makes us wonder if what they have is a codependent relationship. But it never reaches there, with Jane’s promotion and imminent move to London looming over them. Meanwhile Lucy finally makes out with a girl from her place of work, who has been flirting with her for a while. The morning after they hook up, Brittanny comes across as cold and distant. Jane is confused and unable to comprehend the nature of relationships that others of her age seem to have learnt to navigate with ease. 

Lucy seems lost on seeing Jane easily smooching a complete stranger at a lesbian club without any hesitation. She is perplexed up on realizing that the only woman with whom she had her first lesbian encounter was in fact straight and was simply trying to string her along as a pastime. Lucy feels unmoored, like she is all over the place and begins to dread the direction in which her life was heading. She becomes resolute and quits her job to finally take up painting seriously. She starts going out on dates and meets new women. She grudgingly tests the waters and then tries to make her way ahead in the world of dating, one bold step at a time. Meanwhile Jane realizes that she needs Lucy just as much or more than Lucy needed her. Following her breakup and job transfer to London, she feels like she is losing control of her life and reaches out to Lucy to patch-up. Though they get together at last, there is a mutual respect, that was not very evident in their relationship before.

There are four main spaces in the film where the narrative unfolds: Jane’s and Lucy’s abodes and workplaces. The confined places can be considered to be symbolic of the rut into which both their lives had fallen. The open road that they take to at the end of the film points to new possibilities and adventures in store for them. During the entire running time the story is propelled forward in the neutral gear. My only grouse is that the characters seemed to be existing in vacuum. There is nothing about them, apart from what is shown in the cinema, that could help us conceive of them as rounded characters. Finally, I would like to mention that the chemistry between Brittany and Lucy simply didn’t work for me. It felt very insipid, devoid of any desire or passion. (We have seen what Dakota Johnson is capable of bringing to the table in this regard.) 


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